Prepare to make important life decisions when you marry a foreign woman.
An argument could be made that most people aren’t totally ready to be married at the time of their wedding. This isn’t to say that the decision to marry is wrong. It’s more of a testament to the fact that marriage is such a life-altering event no person is ever totally prepared to do.
Marrying a foreign woman is even more complicated. What was normally post-wedding afterthoughts became major life-altering decisions.
Most couples take a few years to totally acclimate to married life. For a husband and wife, total commitment to each other is not only a new experience, it can be challenging as well.
Individuals previously accustomed to career-chasing and personal achievements find themselves having to overhaul their priorities. Responsibility suddenly shifts from “I” to “us.”
In the case of marrying a foreign woman, major changes will have to be made by one individual or the other.
The problem with many men who marry foreign ladies is their short-sightedness of the situation. Enamored by their new bride, they end up making decisions that can cost them money, time, and even the marriage itself.
Let us tackle 5 things that you have to decide on right after you marry your foreign lady.
Perhaps the most impactful and difficult decision to make, deciding where to live is the first thing you should do once you get married.
If you decide to bring her with you back to your home country, see to it that she is fully on board.
Make sure to follow your legal obligations like obtaining a visa. Check the laws of the country you will be residing in to ensure that everything goes smoothly.
Foreign women are usually very close with their families. As such, make sure that your lady is okay being away from her family. You will discover that some girls aren’t so keen on being apart from their families, so make sure that’s covered.
The same goes for you if you decide to immigrate to your wife’s home country. You might have to start over.
Immigrating will require you to adapt to your new home country’s culture and way of living. You might even need to learn a new language.
Understand that these things are not always easy and can be a source of stress for the migrant partner. Be prepared to give or receive the necessary support to continue.
Once you decide where to live, one of you will have to restart your career. Many couples don’t mind the traditional family model - the husband as the provider with the stay-at-home wife.
In this day and age, however, that might not be what both of you want. One of you might want to find a job or pursue a business.
Whatever choice you both make, make it together. You aren’t working for yourselves anymore, but for the family.
Choosing a new career or pursuing further studies requires the full emotional and financial support of one’s partner. If not, this can lead to resentment for both sides.
A lot of men who marry foreign women can be very unwise with how they spend their money. Unfortunately, some women do marry for financial gain.
A lot of men feel they can buy anything in a country where their dollar holds great value. They end up overestimating their worth and their wife's ability to spend.
So why buy a house? Well, you will need a place to stay and raise your family. Real estate is always a good investment, and when done right, it could be a big financial win.
Many men are able to purchase lots and houses in foreign countries because the overall costs are cheaper. This leads us to the following point:
Being careless with money can be disastrous to your marriage and your own wellbeing. Not everyone is a gold-digger, but you don’t need to be a gold-digger to make unwise financial decisions.
Some newly-wed women, in their excitement over their new-found income source, end up buying useless junk. The men then find that their savings have been depleted. Many couples over the long term have fallen into this trap of financial imprudence.
Make a decision to be financially wise early on in your marriage.
For example, don’t buy a brand new car which will only depreciate greatly over time. Instead, buy a used one that is still in good shape. Instead of buying overpriced furniture and clothes, invest in blue chip stocks, mutual funds, a business, or real estate. Make sure to do your due diligence before making long term investments.
Also, see to it that you and your wife are on the same page in terms of being financially wise. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the finer things in life, just make sure they are well within your means.
While having kids seems like a no-brainer for some, good family planning can be beneficial to the overall wellbeing of your household. Those who are still in the process of understanding the importance of marriage should discuss where having kids fits in the list of priorities.
Some people prefer to travel and spend time as a married couple before talking about having kids. Others have kids even before they get married. Whichever path you choose, understand that having kids is a big responsibility and should be met with dedication, love, and commitment.
At this point, marrying a foreign woman doesn’t sound as rosy anymore. But that’s marriage! Even if you end up marrying your next-door neighbor, marriage is and will forever continue to be about sacrifice, commitment, and love.
When you marry a foreign woman, you are marrying someone who loves you beyond borders, language, and culture. What is marriage all about if it isn’t built on the love of two people? Marriage, however, isn’t simply about love. It requires your best efforts, and part of doing your best is deciding with your wife how you want your life to be for years to come.
