Here is how you can deal with being ghosted when dating foreign women.
Most men and women have either been ghosted or have ghosted in their dating pursuits. Ghosting isn’t a novel thing. If you’ve ever signed up on dating apps or sites for the sole purpose of dating foreign women, then you know the feeling of seemingly being mutually interested with someone but only for that person to cut you off for no reason. Like a rug pulled under your feet.
Being ghosted online can have the same effects as being rejected in real life. No matter how much you deny it, the pain is real. Somehow, it puts a blow on your ego because you allowed yourself to open up yet she ends things without a single text, call, or email on her side.
If you’ve already been ghosted by some women you met at certain free foreign dating sites, here are things you should know about it, as well as how to deal with it:
It’s prevalent in the online dating platform
If you’re signed up on free dating sites for serious relationships, you’re bound to meet certain women who might leave the picture without notice. Ghosting wasn’t a trend until online dating has made it very easy for daters to swipe right for other potential partners.
With online dating apps, it’s easy to think that you have a lot of choices. So there’s less guilt associated with chatting someone today only to move on to the next just as quickly.
However, the pain of being ghosted will feel as intense as when you were rejected in person, especially when you were communicating with a foreign woman consistently and for a considerable length of time.
So yes, it hurts
You need to acknowledge that the pain, shame, anger, frustration, or annoyance that you’re feeling about being ghosted is real. Even if it’s prevalent in the online dating platform, especially in international dating sites, it’s natural to feel down in the dumps. Such a huge blow to the ego makes you doubt yourself. It’s like you were given hope but just slipped away from you.
Even if you have moved on from the ghoster, the feeling of being exposed and then misled genuinely hurts. Sadly, ghosting has been widely pervasive, but you can learn a lot from this specific dating experience.
But like most pain, it’s temporary
Not to downplay your emotions but like every other heartbreak, your pain from being ghosted will soon pass. And you don’t have to take it personally. Most of us are hardwired to avoid possible conflicts. Perhaps, she preferred ending the relationship the easy way rather than a confrontation.
Perhaps she did what she did because she thought it was the one right thing to do. Perhaps she thought that an abrupt virtual silent treatment as a way of getting the message across. For all you know, not everyone is ready for a mature relationship.
It’s not all about you
Most of the time, we’re quick to judge ourselves when feeling rejected. But seriously, you don’t know what’s going on in her mind. You should be more kind to yourself and not automatically put the blame on your shoulders.
When a relationship ends, the reason isn’t always about you. As mentioned earlier, not everybody is ready for serious romantic relationships. If anything, you just happen to be the unfortunate victim, which is different from being the reason.
There are many reasons people ghost in online dating. She may have fears and insecurities on her own. She might have had a history quitting on something or someone in her life without a single warning.
That’s something out of your control. For the most part, her actions reflect more on her than you, and that it’s time to find your match somewhere else.
Just move on
It wouldn’t have to hurt that much when there’s closure. But if you still hold on to her and hope for a long term relationship, it will hurt even more when you’re ignored. However, if confronting the situation to get a clearer perspective will make you feel better, then do it. A simple text, chat, or voicemail will do.
Let her know how you feel and that you want closure. Ghosting is rude, and confronting may help her realize not to do the same thing to another person. You’re proactively stopping the cycle. Here are some sample messages to get your point across:
"Hey, I haven’t heard from you for some time. I wish you were just honest if you’ve lost interest."
"I haven’t heard from you, so I think we’re on the same page that we can’t get past the friendship phase. I wish you were more upfront if I did something wrong."
"I wonder why you’re suddenly gone. I wish you just told me if you’ve lost interest because I understand that feelings can change. Letting me know what happened to you or something else is perhaps the least thing you can do."
"Hey, I just want to know if you’re alright. I thought we had a great connection and I haven’t heard from you for a long time. I’m just asking because this thing never happened to me before and I really think it’s hurtful for someone not to end things."
These are just some of the ways you can express your feelings.
Talk about it
Don’t conform to the stigma that men shouldn’t be as expressive and emotional as women. If something bothers you, talking about it will help put things in perspective. You can talk to your friends and family members who you trust.
Finding your perfect match when dating foreign women may not go as smoothly as you thought. If you just learn how to handle being ghosted, you would be able to move on faster and be more mindful of the women you get in touch with.
But you can also minimize being ghosted by signing up to the right dating or matchmaking sites. That’s because the women on these sites have been thoroughly screened and vetoed. So any woman you meet there would have the right intentions. Sign up with us to find your own future partner.
